Heavy Band 001: Guns 'N' Roses

I'm going to start trying to post a blog on every Saturday about a Heavy Metal/Hard Rock Band.

The first band that I've chosen to feature is Guns N Roses. Once I started listening to GNR I realized that I could never listen to Bon Jovi again. I saw the commercial for 1988's Dirty Hairy: Dead Pool. It featured GNR's Welcome to the Jungle, one of the heaviest songs of all time. I purchased the album Appetite for Destruction soon after. It's So Easy has perhaps the hardest rocking intro of any songs on the album. The intro is reminiscent of Judas Priest's intro to Rapid Fire with it's driving guitar section. Mister Brownstone is just an awesome track with the raunch of Nazareth (aside from Love Hurts). Far from Nirvana being the end of Hair/Butt Metal, this album made savage wounds that allowed Nevermind to make the killing shot.
Though GNR constantly changed lineups, even in the old days, I cannot bring myself to listen to Axl's new incarnations of what was an awesome band. I like GNR best when Slash, Izzy, and Duff were in the line up.
GNR followed up the huge success that was with Appetite for Destruction with GN'R Lies. The first half of GN'R Lies consisted of a live EP that was released prior to Appetite for Destruction. The album opens with the speedy, driven Reckless Life. Reckless Life is the seminal song for early GNR, showing influences of Aerosmith. This influence is also seen in their cover of Mama Kin on the end of the first side. The second side of the album begins with the acoustic ballad Patience, and ended with perhaps GNR's most controversial song of all time. One in a Million offends so many people with it's xenophobic, racist, and homophobic lyrics. Axl Rose insisted that the song was to be taken ironically, and that he wrote it because of anger that he felt towards specific individuals.
GNR followed Lies with the ambitious double album Use Your Illusion parts 1&2. These albums showed much more blues influence, as is seen in the tracks Dust N' Bones, Shotgun Blues, 14 Years, and Bad Obsession. The album also shows folk music influences on the songs You Ain't the First and Civil War. These albums have the most eclectic sound of any of GNR's, with songs that could be played in a smoky bar, and others that you could only see being played in a packed stadium.
The final GNR album with the classic lineup was The Spaghetti Incident, an album of all cover songs that shows many of their influences. The genres covered on the album include punk, raunchy hard rock, hardcore, glam rock, and even a tune by Charles Manson.
After The Spaghetti Incident, the classic lineup fell apart. Axl Rose took 15 years to write Chinese Democracy, with an indistinguishable band. Most of the other band members united with Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots to form Velvet Revolver. Though all parts make decent music, they have yet to make music that captures the same kind of energy that they were able to capture in the late '80s and early '90s.

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13 Draculas

Dracula is the most portrayed fictional character in the history of film. Based only in name upon a 15th century prince, the character was created by Bram Stoker for his novel Dracula. Every actor to play him has further influenced our image of him. Here are thirteen men that have taken on the Dracula name.

1) Béla LugosiMost Iconic Dracula

Bela Lugosi's portrayal of Dracula in the 1931 film directed by Tod Browning influenced what most American's think of when they think of Dracula or vampires in general. He honed his portrayal on the stage in the Broadway production of Hamilton Deane's play Dracula. It is his Hungarian accent that we think of with "I vant to suck your blood." It is his portrayal that influenced the creation of the Sesame Street Muppet Count von Count. It is Lugosi's portrayal that all others think of when they prepare to play the Count. It was his portrayal that was thought of when the post punk band Bauhaus wrote Bela Lugosi's Dead.

2) Christopher LeeMost Prolific Dracula

Christopher Lee has portrayed Dracula more than any other actor. He portrayed the count in at least 10 films between 1958's Dracula and 1973's The Satanic Rites of Dracula. Most of the films were produced by Hammer Films, and he is the second most thought of actor in the role after Bela Lugosi.

3) Gary OldmanCoolest Dracula
or
Most Bad Ass Dracula

1992 saw the release of Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula. One of the best portraits of Dracula comes from this film. Gary Oldman was perfect as both the aged Dracula in his castle and the young Dracula, prior to becoming a vampire and after feeding in London. As the young Dracula, he is the coolest; as the aged Dracula he is the most bad ass.

4) Frank LangellaSexiest Dracula
or
Most Disco Dracula

In 1977 a revival of Hamilton Deane's Dracula opened on Broadway with sets and costumes by Edward Gorey. Frank Langella was cast in the lead role of Dracula. Two years later he starred in a film version, and the steamiest Dracula was born. Langella has refused to portray a vampire in any of the films that he has made since, in order that he not be typecast. Thankfully for us he made this movie.

5)John CarradineMost Waspy Dracula

The 1945 film House of Dracula features John Carradine in the most waspy portrayal of Dracula ever. Carradine's portrayal is noteworthy, because it is the most emotionless.

6) Udo KierCreepiest Dracula

Released in 1974 Blood for Dracula is also sometimes known as Andy Warhol's Dracula, because he produced the film. Blood for Dracula was written and directed by Paul Morrissey, who did most of Andy's films. In the movie, Dracula needs to find a virgin to feed from in order to grow younger. Though the film isn't the best Dracula movie, Udo Kier's performance is the creepiest of any Dracula.

7) Gerard ButlerMost Heretical Dracula

In 2000 the film Dracula 2000 was released and it bombed. A then unknown Gerard Butler starred as Dracula, and most of the other actors in the film weren't known at the time, but have become stars since. The reason that this Dracula is the most heretical is that he is also Judas Iscariot, the betrayer of Christ.

8) Zandor VorkovCheesiest Dracula

In the mid 90s I ran across this movie on late night TV. Released in 1971 Dracula vs. Frankenstein is important in the history of horror movies in that it was the final film Lon Chaney Jr. starred in. The movie is sincere in its attempts to scare but is funny instead, which is why it is cheesy. The movie wasn't produced by, but was distributed by Troma, the masters of schlock. Dracula doesn't appear until midway through the movie. When he does appear he is portrayed by Zandor Vorkov, who looks like Dracula if he were portrayed by Phil Lynott from Thin Lizzy.

9) Jack PalanceMost Intimidating Dracula

In 1973 Jack Palance starred in a made for TV movie Dracula. The movie incorporated elements of Radu Florescu's research into the real Dracula to the story from Bram Stoker's novel. Palance brought a very intimidating presence to the role, as he did to every role that he played.

10) Leslie NielsenFunniest Dracula

In 1995 Mel Brooks released his take on Dracula with Dracula:Dead and Loving it. In addition to being the funniest Dracula movie to date, it actually was pretty close to the book. In fact, this movie was closer to Bram Stoker's original story than 99% of the movies that have been made.

11) George HamiltonTannest Dracula

Dracula is supposed to be swarthy. George Hamilton isn't swarthy, just over tan and waspy. In the movie Love at First Bite he portrayed the bloodthirsty Count in the campiest offering ever. Released in 1979 I remember this film as a staple of late night movies in the 80s and 90s. Since the humor was intended, it can't be considered cheesy. Though this movie was somewhat funny, it was not the laugh riot that Dracula:Dead and Loving it was.

12) Raúl JuliáCoolest Unseen Dracula

In 1978 Raul Julia replaced Frank Langella in the Broadway production of Dracula. Though he never played the Count in movies or on TV, I think he probably made an excellent Dracula on stage and that he would have been excellent in a movie.

13) Vlad ŢepeşMost Real Dracula

Bram Stoker's inspiration for his bloodthirsty count was taken from the Romanian legendary hero. Only in Romania would they have this man as a national hero. Nicolae Ceausescu took the research done by Radu Florescu and Raymond McNally and twisted it into a propaganda that glorified the violent medieval prince. It made Ceausescu seem a little less wicked to be compared to such a "hero". The name Dracula is Romanian for "son of Dracul(Dragon)". This was due to his father being a member of the medieval order of the Dragon, a society pledged to guard the Holy Roman Emperor. Dracula's father sent him to be held by the Ottoman Emperor as collateral. It was a cruel age he lived in and he was perfectly suited to it.

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A comic I did in Seattle about centering. To me the most important aspect of yoga practice.

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13 yoga skeletons:39=13+13+13

This is my 13th yoga skeleton, I am now 1/4 of the way toward my goal. Once I reach 52 yoga skeletons, I will redo the ones that I am not happy with in a new medium. 52 is an important number. There are 52 weeks in the year, and 52 years in the Maya long count calendar before the lunar and solar calendars would sync up. 13 is also my lucky number. 39 is a multiple of 13, as is 52. this is my 39th post over all.

Uttana Padasana
(extended leg pose)

previous 12 yoga skeletons
































yoga skeletons

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Yoga Skeleton 12: w/ commentary on LA Ink

Yoga Skeleton XII:

BakasanaCrane Pose

This yoga skeleton I did a little different. Instead of inking the shading I used the shading from when I drew it w/ pencil. Maybe when I redo it I'll ink instead.
This is the first pose that I've drawn that I can't do now. In the past I could... In the future I will... but now I can't.

LA Ink 2009

I've DVRed LA Ink in the past, but I think I may stop. I was more than happy when Pixie was kicked off. She annoyed the piss out of me. She was like a tattooed Urkel with boobs to coast the show along, though she had no talent and was generally crappy to watch.
What irritated me w/ last week's premier of season 4 was the dismissals of Hannah Aitchison and Kim Saigh. Okay, it was only really that Kim Saigh was no longer going to be on the show. I guess that neither of them provided the drama that was needed to propel the show into the publicity that was needed for a TLC show. Now that Jon and Kate + Hate has all of the country's papers burning with hot headlines LA Ink needs to spice it up a little. I liked both of their ink art, but Kim, with her love of Heavy Meatal and Yoga got my blood boiling.
Not sure if I'll continue to DVR it.

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Yoga Skeleton 11: Confessions of a Heavy Metal Yogi, now with more MJ

Urdhva Mukha Svanasana
Upward Facing Dog Pose

Yoga

Lately I've been achieving the Heavy Metal side of my moniker, but not the yogi portion. I've been stressing out, and having problems falling and staying asleep. I was drinking coffee and beer daily. The coffee before work, the beer after. Usually 16-32 oz black coffee and 1-2 tall boys ~24-48 oz beer. I haven't been doing any kind of regular yoga practice and have been medicating instead of meditating. I was walking to work, but this week that didn't pan out. A couple of weeks ago I did give up beef, and this week I hadn't had any coffee or beer until tonight when I had a couple of bottles of beer =24 oz. I have had a lot on my plate lately, and it would probably help if I could get into a regular practice.

Rock'n'Roll

Michael Jackson died last week and I am so sick of the media coverage. The bands whose videos I've looked up on youtube in the past week include Pantera, Scorpions, Megadeth, Otep, Queens of the Stone Age, Tool, Primus, Melon Galia, Melissa Auf Der Maur, Smashing Pumpkins, Alice in Chains, They Might Be Giants, Soundgarden, Black Sabbath, Mudvayne, Sepultura, and Guns'n'Roses. After each video finished playing I was given suggestions of Michael Jackson songs. Normally the suggestions would be the same band or a band in a similar vein, but every suggestion like this was paired with a Michael Jackson video. Don't get me wrong, I have a copy of Thriller on vinly from ~26 years ago, and once in a blue moon I will get drunk and play a song or two from it, but the last thing that I want to listen to after Good Friends and a Bottle of Pills or Man in the Box is Remember the Time or Ben.
Is Neverland going to become his Graceland, with people making pilgrimages to honor him? At least there will be amusement park rides and a zoo, so much more to offer than Elvis' pad. It's sick whatever way you look at it. If kids were molested there, the place has so much bad karma. If kids weren't molested there, it was still the house of someone whose life was so tormented that he chose to live in a dreamland.
I hope the coverage ends soon.

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Web Soup? Ugh!

I enjoy watching The Soup on E! and I used to enjoy Talk Soup when it was on. I even enjoy watching the web videos on G4's Attack of the Show. You would think that I would like G4's Web Soup, but I don't. Hosted by Chris Hardwick, 3/4 of the videos shown aren't even slightly funny. Most of the remaining 1/4 videos that are funny have either already been on The Soup or Attack of the Show. The jokes after the clips aren't funny either. They really seem to have missed the mark on this one. There's a lot more funny stuff out there, they just aren't searching hard enough. For example, they showed a commercial of a Neti pot. It was just a normal Neti pot commercial, ha ha. I think that they should have shown this video instead. It features the guy who writes Toothpaste for Dinner doing routine nasal irrigation, then coffee, and finally whiskey. It is truly funny. It would have been a much funnier addition to the show than the Neti commercial. I think I'll stop DVRing Web Soup.

As a side note I use a neti pot, and find that it helps me sleep at night. I breathe clearer.
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RIP K. Pattabhi Jois 1915-2009

Last month the yoga world lost a giant. Being a practitioner of Ashtanga Yoga, I am in a great debt to him. I was never able to make it to Mysore myself, but hopefully will someday to study under his grandson Sharath.

While I was in Seattle, a couple of days before he died, I had a dream. In the dream I was living in an ashram somewhere in the forest in Washington or Oregon. I was gardening and sweeping and doing Ashtanga Yoga. The instructor was K. Pattabhi Jois. This was the first time that I had a dream with him in it, and it was a day or two before he died. It was a very odd coincidence. I wish I had had a chance to know him.



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Yoga Skeleton 10

I haven't posted in almost 2 months. It has been a crazy couple of months. Starting with a few weeks of unplanned vacation in Seattle due to a family emergency and ending with one of the worst weeks at work that I've ever had. Hopefully I will start posting on a more regular basis now. Here's my first yoga skeleton drawing in June.

Matyasana

fish pose
Yoga Skeleton X

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Yoga Skeleton IX

This was probably my toughest yoga skeleton drawing to date.

Eka Pada Sirsasanaone foot to head pose

previous yoga skeletons.

I got a few posts I haven't finished yet. A piece on yoga and back pain...The Thirteen Homicidal Clowns That You Should BE AFRAID of...Another post on Sequels and Remakes.

I'll have one out of the pipes this weekend.

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8...8 yoga skeletons. Ah, Ah, Ah...

Why celebrate 8 yoga skeletons?.. It's because it's my wife's favorite number. I let her choose the pose. She did cat a lot while she was pregnant.

Marjariasana B (upward cat pose)

previous yoga skeletons:
Padmasana (lotus pose) Virabhadrasana A (warrior pose I)
Vrkasana (tree pose) Halasana (plow pose)
Utthita Parsvakonasana (extended side angle pose)
Navasana (boat pose) Urdhva Dhanurasana (upward bow pose)

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HEADBANGER HAZARDS 2: WHIP IT REAL GOOD!

Whiplash is a horrible injury. It can come from vehicular accidents...Riding on a carnival ride...or headbanging. Headbanging and moshing can really mess up your spine. Phil Anselmo claims that one of the reasons that he had such a drug problem with Pantera was the result of flailing his head every night while he sang songs like Shedding Skin and Good Friends and a Bottle of Pills. All I know is that I never felt sore after headbanging or moshing when I was 16-25. Now I am sore for days after headbanging.

I headbanged so hard when I saw QOTSA live a few years ago that sweat was raining from my long curly hair onto the people in front of us, and we were in a theater with a slope...the next day. I had to take nsaids and put a heating pack on my shoulders.

When I saw the Melvins at a small bar gig, I moshed like crazy with these skinhead dudes, keeping them from stepping on people. As one of the larger men, I felt that I had to take care of the smaller men and the women. The next day I had to soak for hours in the bath, so weak and sore.

When I was 18 I used to thrash to local punk bands Persecuted Bisexual Rednecks (PBR) and Skoidats and local metal in the form of Bacchus and Contortion. I would leave totally beat after a night of drinking/drugging/chain smoking. By the time that I'd had dinner at an all night family restaurant, I'd be ready to ride again and rock out with a few other dudes at somebodies house, with a few babes in tow. Often I'd end up going to party with the guys in PBR, one of whom was batshit crazy. He'd go and commit crazy acts of senseless vandalism. Stealing from someone's car so that he could spread their map/registration/snow scraper/gloves/tire gauge throughout the neighborhood walking/drinking/pill popping/killing 18 yr old braincells/toking/huffing/chainsmoking. His name was Jack, his bassist was Derek. I would have stuffed myself with booze/lortab/BraincellDeath/ganja/whipits/camel filters/top anyway, but with Jack there was so much more chaos and destruction to balance his creativity. Such a good guitarist/stage presence, Fall asleep and you'd have a dick drawn on your face/toothpaste in your hair/bottles broken where you sleep. Creation Requires Destruction to Exist/Destruction Requires Creation to Exist. Point is I'd never used to feel a sore neck or back when I used to Headbang hard, but now I am sore if I roll out the bed wrong, or lose my pillow in the night.. Could be just age though. At 31, I started hearing music from when I was in highschool on the classic rock station. Not mainstream music but Megadeth's Countdown to Extinction and Soundgarden's Jesus Christ Pose.

I don't believe that headbanging and moshing are good for you. Many of my creaks and groans are probably from when I was too hard on my body.


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Urbanite's Irrational Fears

Ever since humans began living in societies, they have feared the woods. Anything chthonic was dark and unreasoning. It was where the beasts lived. It was a place where you were not safe. The more urban a population, the more it feared what lurked outside the walls of the city. Rural populations were subject to less irrational fears of the woods. For the farmer the fear was that his livestock would be killed and eaten by wolves. The farmer couldn't let his children go outside at night for fear that some beast would kill them. The fears of the urbanite were more irrational. The city dweller created fantastical beasts that were much more horrific than anything that existed. While traveling through the wilderness he feared his imaginary monsters more than the highwaymen who were to rob and kill him.
Perhaps the real fear of the wilderness, was due to the darkness, the fear of the unknown. In the woods you can experience real darkness. Cities have always been lit up with lamps that remove the real darkness. Anyone who has spent a night in the woods on a new moon night knows what real darkness is. When only the stars are visible, and you fear you might not find camp after your 0300 bathroom break. For the urbanite, anything could exist in the darkness. Legends spring up when people, who can't see well in the dark, see shadows moving and tell their companions of the beasts that they have witnessed. Their friends tell others, who tell others, and the image of the beast is soon distorted into something that no longer resembles the animal that it was based on.
For the history of civilization man has feared the things that lurk in the shadows of the wilderness. From the serpent in the Garden of Eden to Jason Voorhees, citizens have mistrusted and feared what they imagine to live in the woods. Since there are so many dangerous animals in the woods, it reasons that anyone who would choose to live in the woods must themselves be dangerous. With all of the dangerous men in the woods, any woman who chose to live in the woods must be truly dangerous. The society comes to think of women that live on the outskirts of towns as witches who are able to control the beasts of the woods. Women who are to be feared and destroyed, just as the animals who live in the woods are. How many wolves were killed, because of the Germanic folk tales that demonized the Big Bad Wolf? How many women that lived outside of town were hunted and killed because of some overgrown fear of the dark? In this blog I will attempt to explore the many facets of the urbanite's fear of the woods, of the fantastical monsters that have sprung up from this fear, and of the things that city dwellers have done because of this fear. Hopefully it's gonna be a good ride.

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